I tried...

I tried to go to sleep tonight. Alas it eludes me. I can't help thinking of my cousin Mike. How cute he was as a kid. What a fat baby he was. All the times I tormented him as a kid. Playing with him. Cuddling him as a baby on my lap. That is about all I can remember of him. I haven't seen him in a long time.

I got a letter from my Aunt today informing me that Mike has passed away this July. I had a good cry about it, called my dad to tell him about it, we were shocked together on the phone.

I have lost so many family members over my life time. Starting with Uncle David, then we stopped talking to the rest of the family for a while. Then my mom died, then we really lost touch with everyone. Nobody's fault really. I just get emotional when I think of family.

I never thought that I would gain a family when my dad remarried. But they have taken me in and made me feel welcome. And for that I am glad. I was a wreck when they got married. I remember that vividly. I never thought my dad would get remarried. I am glad that he did. I really like Debbie and they are happy together. Still I can't help wondering if he misses mom at all. I sure do. I wish she was around to share stuff with. Debbie can never take the place of her.

It was nice to hear from my aunt today even if it was bad news. I havn't seen her in over 7 years. Maybe longer, I can't remember. I sent her an email since that was the only contact info that she gave me, other then my cousin Michelle's phone number (whom I am calling tomorrow from dad's house - pesky thing not having log distance service on my phone).

Where has all my family gone?

Well anyway... enough of that. Archon draws nearer and nearer. I had so many things I wanted to make to sell for it, but I am finding that I was being over ambitious. So I am going to just make 2 skirts to start with and go from there. I will make more pieces as I have time. There are only 2 weeks left though. Yipes! I am really excited about Archon this year. Of course I say that every year. I look forward to it cause I get to see people that I only see once a year there. Like Cat and Dave, and Cara and Timmy, oh and Jack (my "old" man hehehehe). :) Although hopefully I will be seeing more of Cara this year. We have been talking through YIM.

We have so many shirts made to sell this year. OMG... I have cut out 20 of them so far. And Karen has caught up to me. So I have 3 more to cut out then I am done. LOL... So much work to do so little time.

I started reading the "Sandman" series from Neil Gaimen. So far I love it. They do a Mid Summers Night Dream" issue that was just awesome. Karen has them in 10 volumes , hardbound. What a great series. Basically it is about Morphious (sp?) who is the Lord of Dreams. It follows him through many centuries, and shows how he helps people and hurts them. It is a neat concept. And a great story. Oh and his sister Death is a Goth chick. LOL. I love her!

Ah well I am off to read some more and to try to settle my brain. Night all.

Just an update...

I finally got my settlement from an accident that I was in 3 years ago. I ended up buying a serger and a bunch of fabric to make skirts and a dress for Archon (to sell). I still haven't started on them even though I only have a month to go. I am terrified of these machines. LOL. I will have to get over it this week or I won't make my deadline. I am planning on making a bunch of Sci-Fi inspired clothing. I hope they turn out ok.

I made my first button up shirt today. I am almost finished with it. I just have the button holes to do and then the buttons themselves. Other then that it looks like a shirt. :) I am very happy with the way it turned out, although there are mistakes (they aren't visible though) it looks great. I can't wait to get it finished next week and get it to my dad. Then I have to make Debbie's (my stepmom) dress. That will be pretty easy though. At least after the shirt. Then I decided to make everyone clothing for Christmas so I will have to start all that when Archon is over. I might be being really ambitious about all this, but it is worth a try.

I am really looking forward to Archon this year. No particular reason, but it should be fun. I am looking forward to seeing friends that I only get to see once a year at this convention. I of course will have lots of pictures again.

I have been felling a little depressed and unmotivated lately. Just a cycle I guess. My birthday is coming up this month and I always feel yucky as that gets closer. I missed my doctor's appointment for August... Oops. I will have to reschedule for this month. No big deal I guess. I don't really like him any way. I don't deal with change well. Reading about my friend Chasmyn's new family has been a cheering experience though, and I have my dresses to look forward to this coming week. If only I can get motivated to actually do them. *Crosses Fingers*

Life with Ran is still really weird. He has been getting worse since we moved in here. I am beginning to feel like this was a really bad idea. It is too late now though. He isn't talking to me right now cause I took it upon myself to ask our friend Phil if he could do something for Ran. *sigh* I never expected that it would be this bad. He isn't functioning right now. He keeps talking about moving and living on the street. I keep telling him that if he does decide to bail that he has to find a replacement for himself. I don't know what to think. He wont go to the doctor. He wont let me help him with money management (I think that money is the root of his problem). I don't know what to do. I am just tired all the time.

Oh well whining over. I just finished reading the Narnia series and found out that there is a movie coming out in December. I can't wait to see it. :) We say the Brothers Grimm last night and let me tell you if you haven't seen it you should. It was awesome. Creepy, funny, adventurous, just what a Terry Gilliam movie should be.

I still look forward to my days with Karen. We are back to doing just twice a week now. I was putting together out mock up corsets today, as well as finishing my Dad's shirt. I really look forward to going over there. It gets my away from the house for the day and I love spending time with Karen so it's cool. We just watch movies and sew. LOL. What a life.

Well that is about all I am up to. I will try to post about the dresses and skirts as I finish them. I am updated out. LOL. :)

TTFN!