Back Again...

Well I survived Philly. We got back on the 4th of July. The wedding was wonderful, and so was the reception. I got to see everyone and meet a few newcomers to the family. I managed to hold it together until Sunday, then I had an emotional crash. I feel really bad about that but it was to be expected. I just got overwhelmed.

I did get to have a Philly cheese steak and a couple of Philly soft pretzels. So all in all it was a good trip. Although I don't think I will be going anywhere anytime soon. I like being home.

I got a call from my lawyer this week. He said that I am getting my settlement from the accident that we were in 3 years ago. It's not much after doctor bills are paid from that accident but it is something. I am planning on buying a serger and some fabric so that I can make a few dresses for Archon this year. And of course I am going to save the rest for a rainy day. :)

I am really looking forward to getting my serger. I can finally start sewing for real. I think that will be good for me to turn out some clothing to sell at the con. The first one I want to make is the Space Invaders dress. I cant wait to see how it turns out. Of course I may not be able to part with it. LOL.

Ran and I had our first fight the other day. I came in from running errands, and said "Hi. Man, it's fucking hot out there." He just sat there looking at the TV like he didn't hear me. So I went into the back and dropped off my stuff in my room and came back out, and very quietly asked if he wasn't talking to me or something. He blew up at me. I am talking full out screaming. So I disappeared into the back and took a shower and cried a bit. Then I decided to write him a letter since he obviously couldn't talk to me. I basically told him that I wasn't trying to "bust his chops" as he so eloquently put it. I told him that we have to live together and that I was sorry if he is feeling bad and has been for weeks now but that didn't give him the right to take it out on me. I said some other stuff also, but I don't remember what all I wrote in the letter. So I wrote his name on the front and put to read it not to rip it up and came out and gave it to him. Then I went into my room and read for a while. When I came back out he apologized.

I know he is sick, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with him. I wish he could learn that we are here for him and that he is not alone. He doesn't have to go through life alone. I am seriously starting to regret moving in with him, but I know we can make this work. We have to make this work. And he has to understand that I have my problems also. Perhaps I am not as broken as he is, and I have some of the skills I need to deal with my illness, but I need to know that there are people there for me as well.

Maybe I should call this blog how to deal with depressed and psychotic people. I don't know that seems like all I write about. I guess that's not really true, but it is such a big part of my life. It's just nice to have somewhere to vent my emotions and thoughts. So bear with me folks.

Did I mention that it is hot as Hades in St. Louis now. Summer has come. And it is muggy and miserable. I want to move to Maine. LOL. Just kidding. I just hate this month long stretch that they call the "Dog Days of Summer". We still don't have and A/C unit for the living room so it has been a contest to see just how little we can move. For the most part I am in good spirits though. Meds must be working nicely. Ran on the other hand (as I mentioned before) is not dealing with the heat well. His temper has been running hot. I guess that's why he blew up the other day.

So I guess that pretty much brings up up to date. I am done bitching for the evening and I think I am going to go watch "History Of The World: Part I". Nighty night all.