Archon again...

Well I am 20 minutes away from leaving for this con. I am really anxious and excited... I don't know why I am anxious, except that I was having an anxiety attack over getting there.

Anxiety attacks are really freaky... It is like a big weight is sitting on my chest and I get all aggitated and upset and shaky. I hate them, and to have one over the fact that I still didn't know what time they were coming to get me was silly. Of course we were going.... Blah

Well we are going so I feel a little better now... I am still a litle antsy, but not sick feeling anymore. I am looking forward to a fun weekend...

For any of you who have never been to a Sci-Fi Convention this would be a good one to start with. It is a mid-sized con, about 2 - 3000 people show up from all over for it. They have neat guests and great shopping... lol

Anyway, I am breathing better now... I hate those things (anxiety attacks). It's a good thing that they don't happen very offten or I would be a mess. Not that I am not a mess already, but you know...

Archon is a day away...

Well we are now a day away from my favorite time of the year... Archon. My favorite Science Fiction convention.

I am really stoked about this year. I have lots of costumes to wear and am trying to figure out which night to wear what. I just went shopping at Torrid tonight to pick up some stuff for my Saturday Night costume. I got a little pink plaid skirt and knee high, high heeled boots... and I have my leather corset and my biker jacket to wear with them.... I will have to post pictures after the con....

I am expecting this year to be fun. I am working during the days of the con, at Karen's booth. We are selling cool button up shirts and corsets, both leather and traditional silk brocade. It took a lot of work to get ready for this con. But we did it, although we are into crunch time now, and are working our butts off to get everything ready by Thursday. I think that we will do it though.

The evenings are what I am looking forward too. The parties, and seeing people that I only get to see once a year at this con.

I am beat from working with Karen on this. I did inventory today and helped put together some last minute shirts. More work tomorrow and Thursday before the con. Then it is off to a relaxing weekend.

Well that is all... I have to go to bed now because I have to get up early for work... I am making our banner tomorrow. So I will post the pics from the con when we get back on Sunday. Have a nice rest of the week and weekend.

Birthday Blues... Not so blue this year

Well I have survived another year. I am now 28.

All in all this has been a milestone year. For the first time in a long time I am stable. I got my shit together and got my own place. I am being self sufficient. I look back to this time two years ago and sigh relief when i think about how far I have come.

Two years ago I finally got hospitalized for depression. I went twice that year. the second time I was released on my birthday. I went to a homeless shelter after that, and then to a transitional housing facility and spent a year there.

I moved out of there into my, at that time, boyfriend's house. From there I got a job, and was able to pay rent. Then I got sick again and had to go through ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy) for my depression. When I recovered from that my boyfriend and I broke up and I found a place to live.

I am currently in that place still, and have been since May 1, of this year. Life is going pretty good, all things considered. I have had a hard road getting to this point, but I am here now, and I don't intend to leave it.

There is always the underlying fear that I will get sick again, or have to go to the hospital again, but as long as I take my meds and do what I am supposed to do i think that everything will probably be ok. After all that is why I see my social worker once a week... just to keep that from happening again.

Well I lost my train of thought on this one. I went and got distracted by Yahoo IM posts. *Sigh*
Oh well... more to come.

One day at a time...

Well I just got introduced to this thing by a friend of mine, Echota. So I decided to give this a try. I don't know how often I will update this journal, being that I try to live in the moment rather than planning ahead. Less stress that way I think.